Recently I’ve written several drafts on cross-cultural life for my ‘work’ blog that are more personal in nature, more emotional in style. I think the decision to make writing my outlet again somehow overflowed naturally.
Six weeks from today I will arrive in Australia and my life will be over. The life I lived in China is no more. I don’t have a life to go back to anywhere in the world, not even Australia.
A lot of people have made comments along the lines of “but you’ll be back”. I hope that’s true, but I don’t know for sure. It’s important to me that I close this chapter well, that I don’t leave things hanging. I need this to be a real ending.
I remember how different my apartment felt when that furniture arrived. They weren’t just things – they meant something. It’s so strange to think they won’t be mine again. That these solid pieces of my life in China are just gone.
I bought a one-way plane ticket out of China. There’s something so FINAL about having paid for a plane ticket, about having a concrete date. About knowing exactly how much time I have left here. I suspect that’s why I put it off so long.
I was surprised at all the emotions stirred in me my when my flight landed in Beijing. I’m back – but I’m not staying. I’m home – but it won’t be my home for much longer. As I looked down I realised that I am about to become home-less.
17 days ago I received some terrible news. A girl from my youth group had passed away overnight. She was a beautiful girl, a beautiful person, and she will be missed. It’s been a long fortnight for me. I have been exhausted – mind, body and soul.