So, as you all know (I think??), I finished my last day of work in Impact today. Wow. I got my first job, got switched around, got some recognition and appreciation, then CHUCKED IT IN TO DO VOLUNTEER WORK. Wow. So weird. And yet, so RIGHT!!
I left work today on a high – because I know I’m stepping into something infinitely more valuable than what I have been doing. The work I’ve been doing at BICF has been amazing. I know it has had an impact. I know it is important, some of it ground breaking, and yet… And yet I know I’m headed into something vastly more important. Perhaps that’s not accurate. Probably not. How can you compare the value of different ministries like that? And yet I know above all that I am stepping into my calling, my purpose. I was created to be here at this time working with youth, using my gifts in the areas of administration and organisation to help make some stuff happen.
I am on such a high.
There is a small grief at leaving a GOOD job, with good people, doing good work. But I know I’m choosing something better – even if it doesn’t add up on the surface. I am so grateful for all I’ve learned during my time in BICF and especially in Impact, but it’s time to move on.
Part of me wishes everything was concrete and added up – that I had answers to all the questions I’m being asked – and yet… Perhaps God gets more glory in their being no answers now, but everything just working out. I’m sure that it will. I have total peace that everything is going to be fine.
Practically speaking, I have rent sorted til the end of June and I have enough money to live cheap for two months. I’m going to be fine financially, one way or another. And things could happen any day to set me up better than I could imagine. So I’m not worried at all. I’m excited.
I know it’s not going to be easy every step of the way. I know I’m going to really struggle at times. Little Miss Organised will baulk at having no plan, at having nothing concrete. I will think I’m crazy, and I will feel crazy. But it’s going to work out. It’s been a tough couple of weeks lately, with insane emotional ups and down driving me nuts!! But again, I’m not worried. I’ll find the strength I need to get through, day my day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I’m growing stronger, gaining wisdom and maturity, every day. I’m recognising my own worth and value, my talents and gifts, and I’m not going to sell myself short – and neither is the God who created all that in me.
So… I guess this is the start of something new… I’ll drink to that!