A month ago I slipped at home (a silly accident) and hit my head on the tile floor, giving myself a concussion. I’ll tell the story another time, I’m sure, but tonight I’m feeling good and I want to bask in that feeling a little longer. I went for a walk this evening, and it was glorious!
I nearly didn’t go. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to go out and enjoy the clean air and the clouds I could see through the bars on the windows of our apartment. I wanted to walk, to help my body relax, and the tense muscles in my neck loosen. I just wanted to get OUT and feel a little freedom! I knew it would calm my mind as well as my body. But I was afraid. I took a walk two days ago but tired very quickly, and got a headache soon after coming home. The headache lasted all day, and what had been a lovely moment slid into discouragement.
So I asked my wise and caring husband for his advice. My plan was to walk a short way to a waterway visible from the apartment, then find a place to sit and rest before coming back. He wasn’t concerned about me going but did suggest I wait until the temperature dropped a bit. Very thankful I did so! The cooler air was refreshing, and it also meant I enjoyed beautifully coloured clouds. Clean air, low humidity, light breeze, sunset skies… These simple things are rare in my life now and I value them so highly!
I walked a little, found a quiet spot by a canal to sit and watch the skies, then walked back. I stopped to appreciate flowers, rippled waters, silhouetted leaves, and the ever-changing colours in the clouds. I even did a little people-watching. Lots of people, of all ages, were out walking. A group of aunties were dancing (as always). I particularly appreciated being left alone – no one talked to me, stared at me, or commented on me. Not that I noticed, anyway, and that’s good enough for me!
As I walked I listened to a podcast about the book of Job, which felt fitting, and found it encouraging. Recovery from my concussion has been very slow and frustrating. I regularly get migraines and tension headaches anyway, which have been more difficult when added to the concussion – or is it vice versa? And with three kinds of headaches to choose from, plus the need to rest, it feels like I’ve spent a month lying in bed with the curtains closed.
Getting out of the house, out of this confined space, did wonders for me. My mind opened up and I breezed past cycles of overthinking that have twisted me up for days. I could feel myself relaxing, both physically and mentally. I felt like myself. Physically, it all felt so different to two days ago. The deep and sudden tiredness I feared never arrived, and I felt a deep peace emotionally and spiritually.
I know there will be ups and downs – there always are – but I truly hope I’ve turned a corner. I’ve been home an hour now and still feel good. A very faint pressure against my skull reminds me that I’m not fully healed yet, and all my precautions are important; a longer walk, or in weather more hot or humid, and things might have been different. But I listened to both myself and my husband, and I’m okay tonight.
A week ago my brain started to switch on, and I could think more clearly (if still with limitations). I hope that in another week I will look back on this walk as being when my body started to work again. This is the most at peace I’ve felt in a long time and oh, am I thankful! A glorious walk indeed.